Final Transformers 5 trailer is garbage…but I still want to see the movie.

God damn it, Michael Bay.

Yet another excellent display of a decent trailer, for what will no doubt be an awful film.

The tone of this trailer is all over the shop. About 30 seconds of tense music over the top of action sequences, followed by a few sort seconds of what is supposed to be a comedic bit, followed by more action drowned out with droning music.

The ‘shot in the chest’ bit was actually pretty funny. This might be the first bearable comedic relief in a live-action Transformers film. Well…I’m hopeful.

 

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For all this trailer’s faults, the final 15 seconds brings it back around. Somehow Michael Bay continues to find one small/interesting aspect to bring to each Transformers movie that makes idiots (like me) want to buy a ticket.

Age of Extinction had Stanley Tucci (That paid off). Dark of the Moon had no Megan Fox. Revenge of the Fallen had a writer’s strike. And, 2007’s Transformers had camera-shots-of-cars-turning-into-giant-CGI-robots, that-were-far-too-close-to-the-pogo-stick-used-as-reference-for-the-animators-to-actually-see-the-transformation (They were learning, cut ’em some slack). Now we get the–not at all Iron Man inspired–magically pulling themselves together gimmick.

So…has he just always been able to do this. Bumblebee’s just had this party trick up his sleeve for 5 movies, and he just didn’t use it. Seems like that would’ve come in handy at some point. Also, this completely destroys any tension whatsoever. Whatever happens to Bumblebee, he’ll just be able to suck himself back up.

(That wasn’t a euphemism, or anything)

Anyway, I’m going to see this. I don’t care what you think of me…What if it’s good–it won’t be, but what if it is? What ten year long rope-a-dope that would’ve been.

Final Transformers 5 trailer is garbage…but I still want to see the movie.

Robots in disguise, Excalibur, and…Nazis?

Just the other day, The Sun shared an intriguing image from the set of Transformers the Last Knight–The Sun as in the news outlet in the UK, not the sun that illuminates our solar system, you know what’s up.

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The image is of Winston Churchill’s childhood home being draped in swastikas. Of course this image set off a bit of an uproar. But Bay assures us when we see the movie we’ll understand, and goes on to say;

“Churchill in this movie is a big hero.”

We already know that a significant portion of the story revolves around King Arthur and Excalibur and all that comes along with that, so how these two tie into each other should be interesting to see.

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My theory, maybe we’re getting some kind of time travel movie with Transformers bouncing around from one time to the next chasing an artefact, or something. It’s always an artefact; you’d think they would have run out of precious ancient items by now.

The Last Knight is only about halfway through its production schedule, so it’s completely plausible that we’ll be seeing more significant, and as is the case here, alternative periods in time.

I mean, it probably won’t happen, but it’d be pretty entertaining if it did.

NB-How much do you want to bet Michael Bay has put in a Nazi decepticon, it’s just something he’d do.

Robots in disguise, Excalibur, and…Nazis?

Stanley Tucci is back for Transformers: The Last Knight

At an event in Deauville, France, Tucci spoke of his upcoming commitments. Among them was the role of Joshua Joyce in Michael Bay’s Fifth installment of the live action Transformers saga.

I have pretty mixed feelings about this one. First and foremost, I think Stanley Tucci is a fantastic actor, but the direction they took with his character is the hype-killer here. Joshua Joyce, or JJ (side note: I think Tucci would make a great J. Jonah Jameson) starts off as being a real character that could exist in this world, but by the end of the film he descends into lunacy.

Well anyway, he’s back. Maybe he could steal milk from some random person’s rooftop again, that’d be pretty good. Or, since at least some of this movie is being shot in Scotland, he could steal someone’s mead and then have a sequence that’s much longer than it should be, about how good the stolen mead is.

There, I just wrote the joke for your third act, Michael Bay. You don’t even have to pay me.

Stanley Tucci is back for Transformers: The Last Knight