Final Transformers 5 trailer is garbage…but I still want to see the movie.

God damn it, Michael Bay.

Yet another excellent display of a decent trailer, for what will no doubt be an awful film.

The tone of this trailer is all over the shop. About 30 seconds of tense music over the top of action sequences, followed by a few sort seconds of what is supposed to be a comedic bit, followed by more action drowned out with droning music.

The ‘shot in the chest’ bit was actually pretty funny. This might be the first bearable comedic relief in a live-action Transformers film. Well…I’m hopeful.



For all this trailer’s faults, the final 15 seconds brings it back around. Somehow Michael Bay continues to find one small/interesting aspect to bring to each Transformers movie that makes idiots (like me) want to buy a ticket.

Age of Extinction had Stanley Tucci (That paid off). Dark of the Moon had no Megan Fox. Revenge of the Fallen had a writer’s strike. And, 2007’s Transformers had camera-shots-of-cars-turning-into-giant-CGI-robots, that-were-far-too-close-to-the-pogo-stick-used-as-reference-for-the-animators-to-actually-see-the-transformation (They were learning, cut ’em some slack). Now we get the–not at all Iron Man inspired–magically pulling themselves together gimmick.

So…has he just always been able to do this. Bumblebee’s just had this party trick up his sleeve for 5 movies, and he just didn’t use it. Seems like that would’ve come in handy at some point. Also, this completely destroys any tension whatsoever. Whatever happens to Bumblebee, he’ll just be able to suck himself back up.

(That wasn’t a euphemism, or anything)

Anyway, I’m going to see this. I don’t care what you think of me…What if it’s good–it won’t be, but what if it is? What ten year long rope-a-dope that would’ve been.

Final Transformers 5 trailer is garbage…but I still want to see the movie.

Robots in disguise, Excalibur, and…Nazis?

Just the other day, The Sun shared an intriguing image from the set of Transformers the Last Knight–The Sun as in the news outlet in the UK, not the sun that illuminates our solar system, you know what’s up.


The image is of Winston Churchill’s childhood home being draped in swastikas. Of course this image set off a bit of an uproar. But Bay assures us when we see the movie we’ll understand, and goes on to say;

“Churchill in this movie is a big hero.”

We already know that a significant portion of the story revolves around King Arthur and Excalibur and all that comes along with that, so how these two tie into each other should be interesting to see.


My theory, maybe we’re getting some kind of time travel movie with Transformers bouncing around from one time to the next chasing an artefact, or something. It’s always an artefact; you’d think they would have run out of precious ancient items by now.

The Last Knight is only about halfway through its production schedule, so it’s completely plausible that we’ll be seeing more significant, and as is the case here, alternative periods in time.

I mean, it probably won’t happen, but it’d be pretty entertaining if it did.

NB-How much do you want to bet Michael Bay has put in a Nazi decepticon, it’s just something he’d do.

Robots in disguise, Excalibur, and…Nazis?

Stanley Tucci is back for Transformers: The Last Knight

At an event in Deauville, France, Tucci spoke of his upcoming commitments. Among them was the role of Joshua Joyce in Michael Bay’s Fifth installment of the live action Transformers saga.

I have pretty mixed feelings about this one. First and foremost, I think Stanley Tucci is a fantastic actor, but the direction they took with his character is the hype-killer here. Joshua Joyce, or JJ (side note: I think Tucci would make a great J. Jonah Jameson) starts off as being a real character that could exist in this world, but by the end of the film he descends into lunacy.

Well anyway, he’s back. Maybe he could steal milk from some random person’s rooftop again, that’d be pretty good. Or, since at least some of this movie is being shot in Scotland, he could steal someone’s mead and then have a sequence that’s much longer than it should be, about how good the stolen mead is.

There, I just wrote the joke for your third act, Michael Bay. You don’t even have to pay me.

Stanley Tucci is back for Transformers: The Last Knight

Paramount to create a Transformers Cinematic Universe


Joint universes seems to be all the rage these days in cinema. So it comes as no surprise that one of the highest grossing franchises in Hollywood would want to jump on the bandwagon. Que – A live action Transformers cinematic universe.

Variety Screening Of "Cinderella Man"

Deadline is reporting that Paramount is in talks with Oscar winning screenwriter Akiva Goldsman. At this point it doesn’t look like Goldsman will in fact helm a Transformers script. Instead, he will work with Michael Bay, Steven Spielberg, and producer Lorenzo Di Bonaventura to create a “writer’s room” to brainstorm potential sequel and spin-off ideas.

Goldsman won an Oscar for his work on A Beautiful mind. He has also worked on some pretty good titles such as; Cinderella Man, The Davinci Code, and Angels and Demons. However, let’s not forget his contribution to the Batman franchise with Batman forever and Batman and Robin, and that is just inexcusable. That being said; he has a better resume than Ehren Kruger, who wrote the previous two instalments of the franchise.

Can I be the first to ask, why the first four movies didn’t have a “writer’s room”? Regardless, I’m glad that Paramount has recognised the weakest element in the Transformers franchise and is making an effort to improve it.

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One of my two wishes for the future of this franchise was for them to actually hire a screenwriter. Now that they have done that all that’s left, from my perspective at least, is to bring in a new director. Let me reiterate, I have no hatred for Michael Bay, I just think that he has burned out and lost interest in the franchise. From this report, it’s not too farfetched that this could happen either. Bay could be a part of this “writer’s room” and just have his name slapped on as a producer like he did with TMNT and Project Almanac.

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Paramount to create a Transformers Cinematic Universe

Transformers 5 officially in pre-production

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Cheers to Alex Yu from TheRaginNation for pointing this out to me, I missed it upon its official announcement like many others. By the way; if you’re a Transformers fan you need to follow this guy’s stuff. He’s a hardcore, passionate Transformers fan and he goes in-depth into every aspect of the franchise especially when it comes to updates on the upcoming movies.


So: at toy fair a few weeks ago the announcement that Transformers 5 has been green-lit. Not much was really announced. Actually, all that was announced was that Hasbro’s CEO Brian Goldner confirmed the movie is in pre-production.

My only two requests are:

  1. Hire a screenwriter this time
  2. Don’t bring back Michael Bay

Listen. I’m not saying Ehren Kruger is a bad screenwriter, I’m just saying he wrote the lesser of the Transformers movies.

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First off I want to state that I’m not one of those people who blindly hates Michael Bay, in fact I don’t hate him at all.

But here’s the thing; He didn’t want to come back for Transformers 3 but he did, he didn’t want to come back for Transformers 4 but he did, both due to large sums of money (and probably some other requirements like making Pain and Gain) from Paramount Pictures. The point is; if he doesn’t actually want to do be doing the movie he’s not going to put his heart and soul into it and it just won’t end up being as good as it could be.


Give it to Doug Liman, director behind; The Bourne Identity, Jumper, Edge of Tomorrow. Seems like a choice a little out of left field, but take a closer look at the above movies. The man understands action and at the same time he knows how to handle character progression, something lacking from the Transformers franchise. While I don’t think the Transformers franchise is an area Liman would actually be interested in, it’d be cool to see his take on it.

And yeah; I get that the Transformers movies are basically 2 hour long toy/car commercials, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make a good movie out of it.

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Transformers 5 officially in pre-production